


murphy's law

by spoopyy



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 03:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11889024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoopyy/pseuds/spoopyy
Summary: “So, don’t be mad, but the flowers are the wrong color, our best men are nowhere to be found, someone lost the rings, the cake isn’t here yet, I think I lost the vows I wrote and I can’t rewrite them because we’re thirty minutes away from being wed, there’s no photographer, and we can’t find Brent. Oh, and I can’t find my suit."Or, where everything that can go wrong does go wrong, but ends up right in the end.





	murphy's law

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostwheeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostwheeze/gifts).



> Sequel to ghostwheeze's proposal fic. Enjoy! :)

_30 minutes_

“Shane, what’re you doing here? You know we’re not supposed to see each other before the wedding,” Ryan says, turning around to face his soon to be husband.

“That’s straight people shit,” Shane says, kissing Ryan on the head. “I just came here to tell you something.”

A million things go through Ryan’s mind at this point: does Shane still want to get married? Is he having cold feet? Did he find someone else? Is this wedding going to be held just so they can get free stuff from their friends and family? After two fake proposals to get free stuff, it honestly sounds like something they would do.

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that,” Shane says, pulling Ryan close. Ryan exhales. “You should probably brace yourself, though.”

Ryan does. “So, don’t be mad, but the flowers are the wrong color, our best men are nowhere to be found, someone lost the rings, the cake isn’t here yet, I think I lost the vows I wrote and I can’t rewrite them because we’re thirty minutes away from being wed, there’s no photographer, and we can’t find Brent. Oh, and I can’t find my suit,” Shane says.

Ryan backs away to give Shane a confused look. “What the fuck?” he asks, stepping out of Shane’s embrace.

“Listen, I’m pretty sure Brent just got lost or something, it’s fine. I don’t know where our best men are but I’m sure they’re not dead. And I know neither of us really care about the flowers, but they do bring out your eyes. I got someone to look for the rings, so that’s no big deal, but we need to find a photographer. Oh, and call the cake place? I’m leaving to look for my suit,” Shane says, walking backwards towards the exit.

“And the vows?” Ryan asks with an eyebrow raised. It seems like Shane has a solution for everything (well, almost everything), which is good.

“I figure we could ad lib them,” Shane responds, already out the door.

Ryan just shakes his head and dials the number for the bakery.

~

_24 minutes_

He’s not freaking out. No, he’s definitely not freaking out. Really, he should be given an award for how much he’s not freaking out right now.

Okay, maybe he’s freaking out a little bit. All of the things going wrong so far are making it hard for Ryan to relax, and he doesn’t even know where to begin solving the multitude of problems that have arisen. He’s called the cake place and sure, they said they’d be coming with enough time to spare, but that’s only one out of eight problems he needs to solve that currently are not being solved because he’s freaking out.

He calls Brent next. At first, Brent doesn’t pick up, but he answers once Ryan calls for a second time.

“Dude, where the hell are you?” he asks, exasperated.

“Uh, who’s this?” an unfamiliar voice says. Ryan takes a deep breath and checks that this number is Brent’s and that he didn’t misdial it. (He didn’t.)

“This is Ryan,” Ryan says slowly, like he’s speaking to a child.

“Don’t know a Ryan,” the person - who is definitely not Brent - answers. The call goes out and Ryan shakes his head, not knowing what to make of the situation.

He gets a text from Jen once the mystery person hangs up and tries not to let the remnants of his sanity go.

_Jen: so i lost the rings but don’t worry, i think i know where they are_

_Jen: nvm i think i lost them for real_

_Jen: nvm again_

_Wait, so do you have them or not?_ Ryan texts back, frustrated.

_Jen: no but don’t panic_

Ryan sets his phone down and goes to get some air.

~

_19 minutes_

“What do you mean you don’t have my suit?” Shane asks, standing at the counter of the rental store.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir, it seems like the suits have been mixed up. We accidentally mixed yours up with someone the next town over,” the salesperson says, and Shane shakes his head.

“I’m getting married in a few minutes,” he responds, and although he’s irritated, he’s definitely trying to rack up the pity points.

“Congratulations! I’m sorry I can’t help you, but here!” the salesperson gives him a swatch of fabric. Shane looks down at it; it’s a very nice tie with a tie clip and a pocket square. He thanks the salesperson thoroughly and smiles, happy to have at least gotten a free thing out of the ordeal.

Just as he exits the store, his phone rings.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” Shane says.

“Uh, not to worry you or anything, but I called Brent and someone random answered the phone, so I think it got stolen? Which doesn’t tell me where he is. I think he might’ve gotten robbed or something?” Ryan says, and Shane can hear him pacing.

“Oh shit, that’s awful!” Shane replies. What are they gonna do when they have no one to marry them?

“Yeah. I’ve tried finding someone who’s ordained but no one will answer my text messages,” Ryan says.

Shane pauses, thinking. “Wait, did you ever keep Father Thomas’s number?”

“There’s no way I’m asking him, not when we’ve blatantly disregarded his advice a number of times,” Ryan replies with a laugh.

“Call Steven, I’m sure he’ll do it. I don’t know if he’s ordained. If he doesn’t want to, I’m sure it’ll take less than ten minutes to go online and have someone fill out the necessary paperwork to get ordained,” Shane says.  

“Oh, good idea! I’ll get someone on that right now. Did you find your suit?” Ryan asks.

“No, but I got a free tie,” Shane responds.

“You’re….just gonna wear a tie?” Ryan says, laughing. “As funny as that mental image is, I think our guests would appreciate you wearing clothes.”

“I’m not exactly sure, but I’ll find _something_ to wear,” Shane says. He’s half tempted to stand at the altar in his denim jacket, but he’s not sure Ryan would appreciate his fashion statement.

“Uh, okay, cool. I have your vows, by the way. They were under my pillow,” Ryan says, and Shane can hear the smile in his voice.

“You didn’t read them, did you?” Shane asks, teasing.

“Of course not,” Ryan says. “Hurry back, I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I can’t wait either. I love you,” Shane replies, smiling.

“I love you too.”

~

_12 minutes and 10 seconds_

“Steven, buddy, pal, I have a question for you,” Ryan says, sidling up to where Steven is sitting in the church’s pews.

“What’s up?” Steven asks.

“So, Brent was supposed to be marrying us but I can’t seem to get a hold of him. I think he’s lost? It’s a long story. But would you mind marrying Shane and I?” Ryan asks, biting his lip. Steven really is their last chance, otherwise Ryan’s just going to get himself ordained and marry himself and Shane in front of all of their friends and family. No pressure, right?

“I’m not ordained but I don’t think it’ll take that long for me to do it online,” Steven says, and Ryan thanks him with an awkward side hug. He even watches as Steven opens up his internet app and starts the process. The church they’re in doesn’t have the best wifi but desperate times call for desperate measures, and if that means Steven has to sit on Ryan’s shoulders in order to get better reception, then so be it.

~

_8 minutes and 6 seconds_

_Jen: ryan i found the rings!! they were outside??? Idk how they got there_

_Ryan:  Well at least we have them now! Thanks Jen :)_

_Jen: no prob. btw your best men are still missing?? Oh and the cake arrived i told them where to put it_

_Ryan: yeah I know, I texted both of them but no response. :/ oh Thanks for that! You’re a lifesaver. Do you know anyone who’s willing to be our photographer for the evening?_

_Jen: yeah i’ll get adam to do it, he owes me a favor anyway_

_Ryan: I don’t want to know._

_~_

_4 minutes and 1 second_

“Shane, where are you?” Ryan says, frantic. He’s called Shane approximately ten times, and on the eleventh ring he finally answers.

“Sorry! I was looking for something to wear! I’m about a block from the church, I’ll be there in a few,” Shane says.

Ryan lets out a deep breath. This day, the happiest day of his life, was supposed to be stress free and easy, but he’s the most stressed he’s been in a long time.

“Wait, I’ll meet you halfway,” Ryan says, walking in what he hopes is the right direction.

“Any luck on finding Brent?” Shane mutters.

“Nope, but Steven’s gonna marry us,” Ryan says, looking behind him to make sure that Shane didn’t go into the church without him noticing.

“Cool, that’s cool, oh, I see you!” Shane says exuberantly, and Ryan runs to him when he sees Shane waving.

Somehow, they manage to hang up on each other whilst Ryan jumps into Shane’s embrace. When they part, Ryan starts laughing for two reasons. One, their entire situation is so ridiculous. How is it that everything is going so wrong? And two, Shane looks so stupid. He wasn’t lying when he said that he found something to wear, but he found something maybe a little too hilarious.

“That sure is a look,” Ryan says, grinning.

“You like it?” Shane says, striking a pose. This only makes Ryan howl with laughter because Shane looks even dumber than before.

“No. No, I hate it. You look stupid,” Ryan says, wheezing. He can’t get the image of Shane in a Prince Charming outfit out of his head.

“Please, you love Prince Charming,” Shane says, taking Ryan’s hand. It’s like they’re at Disneyland all over again, and it’s as every bit heartwarming as it is funny.

“You’re wearing _leggings_ ,” Ryan replies, laughing still. Shane just kisses him quiet.

“This is too stressful. We should’ve just gotten married in Vegas,” Ryan says once they break apart. He rests his head on Shane’s shoulder for a bit, exhausted.

“Let’s save Vegas for the honeymoon,” Shane whispers, kissing Ryan’s forehead. Ryan looks up at him, an eyebrow quirked.

“We’re not going to Alcatraz?” Ryan questions.

“No, of course not. I can’t have a ghost snatching you up, can I?” Shane replies. “Come on, enough messing around. Let’s get married,” he says with a gentle smile, the one that’s reserved for Ryan and Ryan alone.

~

_At the altar_

“If there’s any reason that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace,” Steven says.

It’s quiet for a moment, save for the tears of various weddings guests and Shane and Ryan themselves.

In a moments that’s far too cinematic, the church doors burst open and everyone turns to look, muttering amongst themselves. For half a moment, Ryan believes that someone is actually going to object, but then he sees Brent followed by their best men and smiles in spite of himself.

“Hey guys!” Brent says all too loudly. “Your best men found me! I went to go replace the flowers and these two wound up helping me because I got robbed on the way!”

The crowd is silent and Brent goes around the venue and replaces the flowers. Steven clears his throat, bringing attention back to the couple, but Brent ruins that again by taking an exorbitant amount of time trying to take his seat.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married! You may now share a kiss,” Steven says, and the crowd cheers as Ryan and Shane lock lips. They press their foreheads together once they break apart, grinning at each other.

As much as everything went wrong in the beginning, it ended up alright in the end, and that’s more than either of them could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I tied up all the loose ends lol. Come say hi on [tumblr!](https://brentbennett.tumblr.com/)


End file.
